Do you ever find yourself desperately wanting a change in your life? This need for change can be as simple as rearranging the furniture in your house or as complex as moving to an entirely new country. Change is the only constant in life and change is good. Well, that is only if you aren’t seeking change just for the sake of change.
Ever since my husband’s double lung organ transplant in 2004, we haven’t been able to sit idle. The peace and quiet in our lives is something we had only previous dreamed about during the years where he was constantly sick. In the life of someone with Cystic Fibrosis, every day is different – challenges, changes in health and even the smallest of successes. Then a miracle organ transplant comes along and the drama is gone – leaving a peace and freedom once longed.
We have been at that “peaceful” stage for almost 7 years now and in those years since his transplant, we have had a number of problems that we have imposed on ourselves. The constant of change was no longer part of our lives and we found ourselves living in a world of stagnation. Well, that’s the way we lived but it wasn’t until this weekend that we put all the puzzle pieces together and realized what we were doing.
Ultimately, we kept hurting ourselves but self-inducing change into our lives on a daily basis. Sure, you would think change is good – and it can be very good – but we started to change every single thing in our lives just for the sake of change. The change we had known when he was sick acted like a security blanket. Yes, it was a hard and sometimes horrible life but we had grown into a sense of comfort with that constant change.
So when the change was gone, we found ourselves buying things we couldn’t afford, changing our living circumstances, and doing things we normally would not do. In the end, we kept changing our lives – on a weekly basis – for the sake of change.
Sad, I know.
Today, we are healthy, still very much in love but we find ourselves frustrated with what we have done over the last 7 years. Sure, we have enjoyed life but not in a healthy way and have yet to follow through on all the promises we made to each other – when he would have his second chance at life. The experiences we want and the life we have yet to live now need be put on a back burner until we can dig ourselves out of a financial and mental hole.
Before the transplant, we had a richness of life that others envied. Today, we sit alone with our house we should have never bought, financial debt incurred by loads of “toys” and regrets of stupid changes we made in our lives – dreaming of a richer future – making the memories we once shared while in hospitals and on life support machines.
Beware change for the sake of change. If you are a transplant recipient or family member, enjoy the second life you have been given today and steer free from the fear of peace. Make memories for a lifetime and don’t buy into things that will just give you instant gratification today. Life is to be cherished – not changed.